So
2 weeks, 560$ in labor, head r&r 6 times, 1 totally new engine (an 04 for 400$ with 31k miles), 200$ in a useless head gasket set plus oil and spark plugs later...... she is done. Block warped but you couldnt tell with a naked eye.
old engine
cylinder 1 had 5-10 psi of compression...