Another CRX Forum production..

Mr. Jollypants

Mr. f**king Jollypants
Registered VIP
Registered OG
5+ Year Member
10+ Year Member
This cracks me up..

It all started back in 96
At the first raves with the first glow sticks
Someone thought “Oh Man that’s sick!”
I wanna do that to my whip!

In 98 it started to graduate
To hood scoops and neon license plates
Held to the car with glue and duct tape
To think JDM was 4 years away

About this time it started to spread
A Type R sticker on a single over head
Dual chromed tipped flaming exhausts
That revved on any car that they crossed

LEDs, the eyes they pleased
Drawing so much power the alternator seized
Blinding deer with their flashing beams
They thought it was sweeter than vanilla ice cream

Reverse indiglo was the way to go
To score those points at those car shows
They’d pop the hood and what do you know
More neon and a coloured radiator hose.

Then this company came out on the streets
A little known shop called APC
It filled the little ricers with so much glee
That they all went on a spending spree

They filled their homes and their bedrooms
With double decker wings and neon looms
Chrome fender flares and shoulder pads
Fooled by what they saw in the magazine ads

What they started could not be stopped
Pissing off the guys at the performance shops
Cruising down the street like a ghetto thug
Showing off their chromed hubcap dubs

You should have seen their face as they dropped their jaws
When they spotted their first set of Altezzas
You couldn’t be cool and couldn’t be hard
If you didn’t have a set of them on your car

It stayed the same for quite a while
Hardcore rockers to this ricer style
But in 2001 it started to change
Looking at the covers of magazines

What did they spot when they looked in there?
Not a single huge wing or a fender flare
No neon and no chrome tips
It was something new to do to your whips

Importing parts from overseas
Was the only way to please
This feeling that would never die
That twinkles in the center of every ricers eye

It’s hard to spot and hard to see
But still a part of the history
It’s still the same under a different name
And you got nobody but yourself to blame

So instead of flash they dish the cash
For a carbon fiber plug for their dash
For taillights that look the same
Except a different tint around the frame

You won’t hear anyone call it a fart can
If it came off the boat fresh from Japan
You’d be surprised to know how much they pay
For something as stupid as an ashtray

But guess what guys it doesn’t stop here
This is when the fakes started to appear
Those ricer companies are back in action
Making more money off of auto fashions

You spent the cash to get a set of Spoons
Now you got to deal with all those goons
Revving on you with their ghetto motors
Commenting on your set of Rotas

So what’s the next thing that they’ll try
Maybe convert to right hand drive
Honestly I do not know
But I hope I’m not at that show

Because it will spark the minds and the brains
Of all those sheep that are in this game
Who want to follow instead of lead
The future of rice is not guaranteed.