anfrey
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http://notalwaysright.com/first-ocean-to-the-right-then-straight-on-til-drowning/1823
Me: “How can I help you today, sir?”
Man: “What’s the quickest way to get to Hawaii?”
Me: “…probably via Vancouver International Airport.”
Man: “What?”
Me: “Look, I’m sorry, I’m not actually a travel agent. I can put you in touch with someone who can book you a flight–”
Man: “I don’t wanna fly there! I could’ve done that from Seattle! I’m going to drive.”
Me: “Over more than twenty-five hundred miles of ocean?”
Man: “You can’t fool me. I know it’s not that far. Besides, it’s much cheaper to fly there through the Canadian part of America.”
Me: “…no, Canada’s not–”
Man: “I’m gonna report you for being unhelpful, missy. Now give me god**** directions to Hawaii if you don’t want your a** fired.”
Me: “Turn left on to any pier you come across, and then drive straight on - you’ll get there eventually, and don’t worry about the water. You can probably sue for damages.”
(Amazingly, he left, perfectly happy with my directions to essentially drown himself.)