Wedding gifts? Engagement gifts?

[JohnS.]

Regarding wedding gifts... So I've never bought one. Ever. Don't know how to do it, don't know what to get. I suck with gifts. Like bad. My 2 good friends are getting married and are having a destination wedding I will not be attending. I wanted to get them something before they left but I don't have a clue where to start. Any ideas for someone with a tight budget?

Now engagement gifts... Again. Never bought one. My best friend of 16 years or so got engaged earlier this year. I really want to get him something but money is tight. And again, I'm horrible with gifts. I don't know his fiancé well sadly. We didn't really start to interact much until a couple years ago when I'd actually see her when my friend and I would hang out. Any ideas here? I'm part of the wedding if that makes a difference lol. No clue what a fking groomsmen does too LOL.

I don't know what you American folks get each other for these kinds of occasions . google is just too broad and unhelpful. Any personal insight would help. Help an asian brother out!

 

[mymmeryloss]

Usually they register at certain stores and make a list of things they want. Ask them where they are registered.

Do the drink? If so nice wine is always good!

 

[cgpEJ6]

I always just write a check.

 

[mymmeryloss]

Im always in the f**king wedding so i never have to get anything lol. I usually get a gift from the bride and groom for being a groomsman or the best man. Go figure.

 

[emerican]

Agree usally they register and there is a list of items you can choose to get them so its pretty easy if they did that, cause anything on the list is something they want.

 

[joe7987]

Yep, they usually register. Ask where they're registered.

As far as an engagement gift - I've never heard of people doing that. Usually a happy and genuine "Congratulations, dude!" is all that's necessary.

 

[R3dline]

dildos , rubber pussy, lube and a home depot gift card

 

[cgpEJ6]

Im always in the f***ing wedding so i never have to get anything lol.

Really? I've never known being in the wedding to make you exempt from buying a gift. Maybe it's a regional thing? It's normal to get a gift for being in the wedding party but I don't think that means you don't give one.

 

[mymmeryloss]

The rule us that if you pay for your tux then you dont have to get a gift. All if the weddings i have been in i have had to pay for my own tux rental therefore no gift.

 

[TokyoSkies]

The rule is that if you pay for your tux then you dont have to get a gift. All if the weddings i have been in i have had to pay for my own tux rental therefore no gift.

This.

John, as others have said, they should have a Wedding registry. Ask them for their registry, or what stores they are registered at, then go to those stores, grab a sales associate, and tell them you need to print out a wedding registry. Tell them the last name (usually the groom, but some people do bride & groom), they print it out, then off you go. No need to worry about buying doubles of anything, either, as the list updates when someone purchases items off of it (so long as they actually used the registry). Makes this whole process much easier. Also, be a boss, and wrap it in duct tape and newspaper.

Engagement gift? Never heard of such a thing. Most of my friends get a "REALLY!? You put a ring on THAT!? Dude, wtf..." or "Bout damned time, she's been mooching on you long enough, might as well make it legal!", and that's it haha. A simple congratulations is in order, no need to go over the top.

 

[JohnS.]

Thanks guys.

I thought engagement gifts were a thing. I was at my friends house and they got a package in the mail and they were saying something about an engagement gift (wasn't fully paying attention as their dog had my attention) so I assumed those happened.

I am part of the wedding and most likely will pay for my own tux. But still... We've been friends for more than half of my life. I'd like to get him something. Or perhaps I'll talk to the other grooms and see if they wanna team up and get him something nice together.

Asking for a registry or where they're registered seems like it would be awkward haha. At least to me... But I guess if it's a traditional thing, you gotta do what you gotta do. The girl loves to drink but the guy mostly drinks beer. I'd like to get them something they can share as a couple. I'll have to ask I guess.

 

[lowlife9]

chastity belt.

 

[emerican]

why would it be akward to ask them if and where they registered

 

[JohnS.]

why would it be akward to ask them if and where they registered

Dunno. I've never asked the question lol. Felt awkward.

 

[joe7987]

Do you know anyone else who's going to the wedding? If so, you can always ask that person if they know where they're registered. If not, it's really not taboo to ask the bride or groom. They set up a registry so that people can get them the things that they really want. They wouldn't set it up if they didn't prefer that you use it.

 

[cgpEJ6]

I thought engagement gifts were a thing. I was at my friends house and they got a package in the mail and they were saying something about an engagement gift (wasn't fully paying attention as their dog had my attention) so I assumed those happened.

They are but I think that's usually more like close family or if you go to an engagement party. I wouldn't worry about that one.

 

[TokyoSkies]

I am part of the wedding and most likely will pay for my own tux. But still... We've been friends for more than half of my life. I'd like to get him something. Or perhaps I'll talk to the other grooms and see if they wanna team up and get him something nice together.

If you're his Best Man, you should definitely be planning his bachelor party. It doesn't mean you have to go to a strip club etc. (as some dudes will get in deep s**t for doing that lol). But do something you know he'll love (for instance, once my best friend sets a goddamned date for his wedding, his groomsmen and myself will all go skydiving, if everyone is down lol). Traditionally, the groomsmen and best man all work together and chip in together for this.
As far as a gift, that's entirely up to you and what you want to do. It's not particularly required that the Best Man get a gift, but it's a good gesture. It just depends on how much you can afford. No need to go over the top, just something thoughtful (i.e. find something they both love.. in my case, my best friend and his wife-to-be love pirate ships. I'm going to commission my roommate to make a small wooden pirate ship that looks like the black pearl from Pirates Of The Caribbean, and it will have their names and wedding date engraved on it. Something thoughtful like that! Bonus points if you make the bride cry with the gift). Use your imagination. The best gifts are the ones that cost very little, but mean the world.

 

[Puma]

Stick to the registry...TRUST me. Since you're in the wedding though, the groomsmen typically go all in on a gift for the groom, or they individually get him like an engraved flask, personalized wallet, engraved money clip....items like that.

 

[LowNotSlow]

Buy them a toaster. Motherfuckers love toasters.

 

[JohnS.]

Thanks guys.

I'm not his best man so woot for that. lol. Too much responsibility!

Toasters and vacuum cleaners. My friends fiance was happy as s*** when they got their Dyson in the mail from someone.