Why do men die before women?

mymmeryloss

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Why do men die first?

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know.

It requires a bit of explanation, first:

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race

... you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework ...

you're a pansy.

If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her.

If you don't work enough ..... you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ..... you should get off your lazy behind

and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favouritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you ..... it's equal opportunity.



If you mention how nice she looks ... it's sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet ...... it's male indifference.

If you cry ... you're a wimp.

If you don't ...... you're an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her ....... you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination.

If SHE asks you ... it's a favour

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ...... you're a pervert.

If you don't ... you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist..

If you don't ... you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape...... you're vain.

If you don't ... you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers... you're after something.

If you don't ... you're not thoughtful

If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself.

If you don't... you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache ... she's tired.

If you have a headache ...... you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often....you're oversexed..

If you don't ... there must be someone else.

Why do men die first?

Because they want to.
 

Daddy_Digital

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i was gonna say men die first cus we dont take care of ourselfs. cus we live life to the fullest. we eat what we want, do crazy s**t.
 


RonJ

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Hint that you are having girlfriend/wife problems? Maybe its your memoryloss. Try harder to remember Valentine's Day and her birthday.
 

stuco

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Here is something that most people don't think about. Part of the reason the statistics show women living longer on average is that men are more likely to die at a young age. Young men can be reckless and when you have a larger number of men dieing at 16-25 those low number are going to significantly scew the overall average.
 


mymmeryloss

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this was supposed to be a joke. saw it on another site and thought u guys would get a kick out of it...

guess not.

pantywastes...
 

Shiznit

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i chuckled. then i straight laughed when people took it seriously. Who needs college? CC to the rescue!
 

Puma

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LMAO too funny!

In reality we live longer b/c we waste too much time and money; whether or yours or mine; on how we are. (this coming from a makeup artist) :D
 

JohnS.

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I lol'd. This one was my favorite:

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ...... you're a pervert.

If you don't ... you're gay.
 

civic209

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haha

If she has a headache ... she's tired
If you have a headache ...... you don't love her anymore.

this annoys the hell out of me...
 


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